REM • CH001

# Chapter 1

The Dowager Lady of Duke Ying, Shen Shi, who had spent years praying at the family temple, was dead. The news spread through the capital as if it had wings.

“The Dowager Lady of Duke Ying? Wasn’t she already long deceased?” someone asked in confusion.

Though the Duke Ying household enjoyed imperial favor and the Duke Ying, Wei Chenglin, was among the most distinguished of the younger generation, no one had heard mention of the “Dowager Lady of Duke Ying” in recent years. Thus, when word of her passing reached them, many felt quite taken aback.

“She lived in the temple year-round, praying constantly and never seeing outsiders or appearing in public. Aside from those close to the family, few would remember her anyway. It’s not surprising you forgot about her.”

“I see. I suppose the Duke Ying household has prospered these years partly thanks to this Dowager Lady’s devoted practice of Buddhism!”

“This Dowager Lady,” one noble matron said with meaningful tone, “though she lived these many years, was scarcely different from being dead.”

“Indeed. You all are simply too young, too inclined to assume things!”

“Now that you mention it, I recall hearing a rumor some years ago about discord between this Dowager Lady and the Duke’s wife. Perhaps that’s why she withdrew to the family temple?”

“Surely not?” someone objected at once. “The Duke’s wife I have seen is the gentlest and most amiable person imaginable. How could she commit such unfilial acts?”

“Beauty conceals what lies within. Who can truly know?”

“I believe the Duke’s wife is not such a person. As they say, character shows in one’s face. Look throughout the capital. In beauty, is there anyone to rival her?”

“To become the wife of a Duke at such a young age, to have a husband devoted entirely to her, with a peaceful household free of troubles, and to have both sons and daughters. A woman could not be more blessed by heaven!”

“It’s quite true. At the last palace banquet, the Duke himself waited by the palace gates to meet her. I saw him personally help her onto the carriage with such care! He truly treats her like the apple of his eye!”

“If anyone in the capital deserves the title of a husband’s deepest affection, the Duke Ying would be second, and then no one else would dare claim first!”

“This Duke’s wife clearly accumulated great fortune in her past life. In this life, she has fallen into a pool of blessings.”

…

The conversation gradually shifted its focus to the much-envied Duke’s wife, the one whom every lady and young miss in the capital viewed with admiration and jealousy. As for the “Dowager Lady of Duke Ying,” few gave her much thought. New scandals and notable figures surfaced constantly in the capital; an aging, nearly invisible Dowager Lady who had lived in obscurity for years was hardly worth their attention.

***

Shen Xinyan’s spirit drifted aimlessly, pulled as if by invisible threads, toward a manor somewhere in the capital.

She saw Chunliu, the maidservant who had served her faithfully her entire life, collapsed in grief on the ground, reporting her death to the young man seated in the high-backed chair.

That was her son. Her son, of whom she had been so proud her entire life. The same son who had sent her to live out her remaining years in the family temple with his own hands.

She stared intently at him, not missing a single flicker of expression on his face. She watched pain briefly cross his sharp, resolute features, saw his eyes grow distant and unfocused, until a young woman’s clear, sweet voice drifted in from outside: “My lord…”

That flicker of pain vanished in an instant.

“Understood,” he said flatly to Chunliu, then rose and walked toward the graceful woman entering the room, his beloved.

So it would be like this, as always. She twisted her lips in bitter mockery. What was there left to hope for?

Suddenly, a fierce wind swept through, yanking her away from the Duke Ying manor in an instant. As if caught in a massive vortex, she was pulled and twisted, hurtling rapidly into white light.

She squeezed her eyes shut as wind roared in her ears like ghosts wailing and wolves howling.

After some immeasurable time, the wind died down, replaced by a cacophony of strange voices.

“Damn it, when is the male lead going to deal with this trashy mom and sister?!”

“This awful mom is disgusting. Male lead, just kill her off already!”

“The male lead is too indecisive. How can he let this trashy mom and sister stay alive until now?”

“He wants to marry the female lead but won’t deal with his awful mom and sister first? This male lead is useless. I’m dropping this!”

“1, I hate the male lead. His mom is disgusting!”

“10086, please get this trashy mom off screen!”

“Phone number, how much does the female lead regret wanting to marry the male lead? Isn’t this evil mother-in-law already disgusting enough?”

“ID number.”

“Pi.”

…

Nonsensical comments poured into her ears one after another. Shen Xinyan froze. Before she could react, a blinding light suddenly shot into her mind, her pupils dilating violently.

Images flashed rapidly through her consciousness, accompanied by various narrations and voices. First she was confused, then shocked, then she gave a bitter laugh, and finally she fell silent.

So. So she was the “vicious mother-in-law” those people had been talking about in their indulgent romance novel.

Since it was a “pampered” novel, the mother-in-law, the male lead’s own mother and the female lead’s natural enemy, either had to die early or treat the female lead like a beloved daughter.

If the male lead’s mother didn’t adore the female lead but had the audacity to stay alive and not hurry off to meet her ancestors, then according to the golden rule of “blessing the protagonist brings fortune, opposing the protagonist brings death,” this “mother” had to come to no good end.

Unfortunately, she was exactly such a mother. The legendary “vicious mother-in-law.”

A thunderous boom echoed, followed by another blinding light that struck her face-on. Her vision went black and her whole body plummeted downward.

『TL Note ♡︎』”Blessing the protagonist brings fortune, opposing the protagonist brings death” (顺主角昌，逆主角亡) is a common phrase in Chinese web novel fandom describing a trope where the story’s fate seems cosmically aligned to reward anyone who supports the main character and punish anyone who opposes them.

*****

Shen Xinyan stared blankly at the young face reflected in the copper mirror. A moment later, unable to believe it, she pinched the back of her hand hard. Pain shot through her, and she suddenly came to her senses.

This wasn’t a dream? But why? Wasn’t she already dead in the family temple?

She had cursed for a year, gone mad for four years, and finally died in that temple in utter desolation. And her only son had been unmoved by her death.

Was there a more failed mother in all the world?

As memories of the past flooded back, she twisted her lips mockingly, forcing out a smile more bitter than tears.

“Madam, the Young Master has come to pay his respects,” Chunliu announced from beyond the curtain, smiling.

Seeing her faithful maidservant, now years younger, Shen Xinyan’s heart clenched. Remembering how Chunliu had never abandoned her in her previous life, she felt a sudden sting in her nose and her eyes grew hot.

She quickly turned her face away to hide it, then after a moment said flatly, “Let him in.”

Chunliu glanced at her strangely. The young Madam usually looked forward most eagerly to the Young Master’s visits to pay respects. Why did she seem so indifferent today?

Soon a boy in fine robes and silk stepped inside.

The young boy’s fair, handsome face was drawn taut, his back perfectly straight. Though he was only ten years old, he carried himself with a cold, inviolable air of authority.

This was her only son, Wei Chenglin, the heir of the Duke Ying household, who had been taken under his grandfather’s personal care and instruction since he was three years old.

Shen Xinyan had once believed her son’s perpetually cold demeanor was simply his nature. That was why he so rarely smiled, even at those bound to him by blood.

Until that strikingly beautiful girl appeared.

It was only then that she discovered her son, so cold he seemed almost incapable of feeling, could smile with such gentleness. He could even bend his proud spine.

Shen Xinyan gazed at him now with complicated eyes. Upon seeing this son again, the one she both loved and resented and hated, she had expected to feel great emotion. She had expected to resist the urge to demand loudly: “Why did you treat me that way? Why did you let me die so alone and miserable?”

Yet in reality, her heart was perfectly calm. So calm that she simply fixed her unblinking gaze upon him, watching as he bowed respectfully in greeting, standing properly in the center of the room.

She thought perhaps all the resentment, anger, and unwillingness had been slowly consumed during those years when she went mad. Perhaps in her final moments she still harbored a trace of that unwillingness, which was why her spirit had drifted toward the Duke Ying manor uncontrolled. She simply wanted to see what reaction her only son would have to her death.

But she had overestimated herself, overestimated what place she held in his heart.

When he did not hear the usual solicitous admonishments from his mother, Wei Chenglin raised his eyes and looked at the woman in the chair with suspicion. In that instant, he gazed into a pair of deep, complex eyes he could not quite read.

“Mother?” he asked, frowning almost imperceptibly.

Shen Xinyan gathered herself. Keeping her head slightly lowered, when she raised it again, her face showed no trace of anything amiss.

“Sit. Did you sleep well last night? Were you reviewing your studies until late again? You’re still young. No matter how diligent, you cannot neglect your health. Balance between work and rest is most important.”

“I did not retire late last night. I was asleep by the hour of Hai. I keep your teachings in my heart, Mother,” Wei Chenglin replied, sitting with perfect posture, his tone respectful but somewhat distant.

『TL Note ♡︎』The “hour of Hai” (亥时) refers to the period from 9 PM to 11 PM in the traditional Chinese twelve-hour system. Each hour is named after one of the twelve Earthly Branches.

In her previous life, Shen Xinyan would have felt heartache at this, would have resented the grandfather who had taken her son from her. But now that she had died and lived again, she no longer had the energy for such feelings. She simply nodded and said gently, “Go then. Don’t be late for your lessons.”

Wei Chenglin had expected to listen to her usual discourse for at least another quarter hour, so this answer came as a surprise.

“This child takes his leave,” he said. He glanced at her once more, made a respectful bow, and turned to leave.

As the young boy’s upright figure gradually disappeared from view, Shen Xinyan pressed her lips together, her eyes growing distant and confused.

Why? Did heaven think her previous end hadn’t been cruel enough? Why must it let her live again?

She didn’t treasure this inexplicable chance at rebirth. What was the point of living when one’s heart was already dead?

Why should she live again? Wasn’t it said that death was like a lamp going out? Why was she still here?

『TL Note ♡︎』”Death is like a lamp going out” (人死如灯灭) is a classical Chinese philosophical expression suggesting that death is final and complete with no afterlife or continuation of the self.

The grievances and resentments of her previous life played like a revolving lantern in her mind. A sharp pain engulfed her limbs as she clutched at her chest, a voice echoing endlessly in her ears. Why? Why? Why must she live again?

After an indeterminate time, she took several deep breaths and forced herself to calm down.

If heaven was determined to let her live again, then she would live well. At least this time, she would live for herself.

“Chunliu, prepare my clothes!” she called out.

Chunliu answered and entered.

“Change into another outfit. The snow-blue one,” Shen Xinyan said, glancing at the dark green dress Chunliu was holding and shaking her head. She pointed to another set on the rack instead.